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Miscellaneous Info · Rooster Tooths

Forum History

History of the Forums, Part 2

Then there was strife. After a brief surge in anti-n00b activity, all efforts continued to be proven ultimately fruitless as the closing wave of darkness continued to engulph the forums and surrounding area.

Warriors on both sides took heavy damage as the battle continued to rage, spilling from forum to forum, from video thread to video thread. The minions of THE_HAND** continued the bannination of the disciples of evil, and the forces of evil continued to increase their ranks. Then, the unthinkable happened.

One of the members of THE_HAND**'s army discarded his weapon, and walked off the battlefield.

Mass chaos ensued in the forums, as people tried to fathom what had just occured. One of THE_HAND**'s hand-picked soldiers walking away from the fight? Nobody had ever even thought of imagining this, yet it was occuring in front of everyone. "The fight was too much," he said, "I grow weary in the arms and in the head."

People tried to cope with the unexpected loss as best they could. Some threatened to fling themselves off cliffs, going where they believed this fallen soldier had gone. Others struck out against those who had driven the brave soldier away, bolstering the forces of THE_HAND**. Several hours later, this soldier of good returned, but something was not right.

When he stepped back on the battlefield, he was not dressed as one of THE_HAND**'s trusted disciples, but as an everyday peasant, as if new to the land. The townsfolk felt both relief and confusion at this new sight, but it was soon made evident that it was indeed the same person, he had just stepped down from the ranks.

The ranking peasants immediately took up a collection to find some way to reward this fallen soldier for his years of work and dedication. After a remarkably short time, the people had pooled their resources to reward this brave soldier with a medal in the shape of a star, to salute his undeniable contribution to the community.

In the wake of his passing, however, a group of vigilantes formed up their ranks on the side of good. They mustered forces, pooled resources, and declared themselves lieutenants in the army of THE_HAND**. Having gained strength, they set out upon the land to spread the word of THE_HAND**, telling people to stop littering, and reporting those who did to higher ranking officials.

It came as a great surprise to this group when their efforts went unrewarded. They had earned not respect, but disdain for their actions. They sat confused, even angered that their good intentions were working against them. Then the forces of THE_HAND** made a direct strike against the interlopers.

A new castle was built, one greater and grander than the rest, and its doors were opened to the ranking peasants. The interlopers assumed the drawbridge would eventually be lowered to them as well, and they gathered outside the gate, circling the castle and its moat and littering and peeing on the ground and in the water.

Days passed, and still the gate remained raised. More days passed, and still no entrance for the freeloading interlopers. The water in the moat continued to be sullied by their refuse. Finally, one of the ranking peasants leaned over the high walls of the castle and yelled down at the interlopers "We were going to let you in, but you pissed all over the ground and in the water, so we've changed our minds!"

The armies of chaos were outraged. They had come for entrance, and now their enthusiasm was going to keep them locked out? Insane! They banged on the doors with newfound vigor, only to be met by more people from inside yelling down "You brought this on yourselves, such is the will of THE_HAND**!"

Even the vigilantes fought on the side of good, only to discover they could do nothing, for none of them were ranking peasants. They shouted feebly up the castle walls, but went unheard. It was only when someone asked how to join this group, that THE_HAND** finally took notice of this vigilante mob. A brief side-battle ensued, and the vigilantes pleaded their case to THE_HAND**. Their cries fell on deaf ears, though, as they were told their help was not needed, and ordered to disband.

Meanwhile, honest and hardworking people had begun to gather on the edges of the swamp that was the land outside the castle. Some of them approached the gate, taking slow, measured steps to avoid sinking in the wasteland, to respectfully ask the ranking peasants when they would be allowed to see the new episode.

Upon being told they wouldn't be able to enter because of the actions of the freeloaders, these honest people experienced a range of emotions, flashing from anger at the freeloaders to acceptance. Then there was a new announcement, but this one came from a minion of evil. "I've found a way in!"

Everyone gathered around this announcer, pushing and shoving for a better view as he pointed at a tiny crack in the castle. They worked to expand it and gain entrance as the forces of THE_HAND** countered, throwing the ones who had identified the weakness out to the ocean. The hole was plugged, but not before a handful of unwanted guests had crawled in and disguised themselves.

It was at this time that an even more shocking announcement came from over the walls of the castle. "We are sorry for misleading you, but you were never going to get in here anyway." The reactions continued to escalate, as many tempers flared even hotter than before. Then someone realised that once again, a secondary battlefield was being ignored.

Back in the basement of the forums, an experiment had gone horribly wrong. The minions of THE_HAND** closed the doors to the bar, to see what would happen. Everyone was completely surprised when the barflies took up arms against THE_HAND**, finding new and innovative ways to attack from the inside. After a brief but very violent spat, the doors to the bar were reopened, only to be one member short as another soldier in the army of light laid down his sword. He now waits for THE_HAND** to pick it up and relieve him of duty.

Things were looking grim for the forces of good, when suddenly a bold new soldier stepped forward. People gathered around their new champion as THE_HAND** placed the abandoned sword in his possession. The army was regaining strength as this new soldier raised the sword high above his head and declared "I shall do good!"

The army of THE_HAND** is beginning to regain its strength, only time will tell if it is enough...

 

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Comments (1-3 of 3)
#1: CrazyForSW said at 2005-11-12 7:16PM:

It just gets better and better

Srsly. Nice work.
#2: spartan911 said at 2005-11-13 3:02AM:

Will this never end?

From what I can tell, the person who left the battlefield is probably mojo... But seriously, this stuff is great.
#3: The Far said at 2009-12-1 10:40AM:

booring

this is even worse than part 1

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