Episode 1: Pack Your Bags

Fade in to Blue Base, where Caboose is doing some heavy lifting
Church:
Right ah, put that one over there.
Caboose:
Okay. You got it.
Church:
Hey where's Tucker?
Caboose:
I don't know. Don't talk to me right now. This is very heavy.
Cut to Simmons spying on them through the sniper rifle, with Sarge and Grif nearby
Simmons:
Well, it's what we thought. They're packing up their base alright. They must be moving to Reach just like us.
Grif:
No surprise there. Those guys are always copying us.
They run back to their base
Sarge:
I think I figured out a way to get a leg up on the Blues, fellas.
Simmons:
A leg up, Sir?
Sarge:
An advantage. Give us the edge we need to finally defeat them.
Grif:
Oh boy, this should be good.
Sarge:
I've intercepted a special transmission, that contains vital tactical information. You see?
Simmons:
That's, a map of Halo Fest, Sarge.
Sarge:
I don't even wanna think about how many of our operatives died to bring us this information.
Simmons:
You know, you can just go to the website.
Sarge:
Think of the advantage! We'll know the lay of the land before we even get there.
Simmons:
This isn't a map of Reach. This is a map of the festival Sarge. You see? There's the place where you can click to preorder Halo Reach from Gamestop. That's the place where you can register to win one of the life-sized Spartan statues.
Grif:
You can win one of those?
Simmons:
Yeah.
Grif:
That's badass, those things are huge.
Simmons:
I know!
Grif:
Wow, it would be nice to hang out with some real soldiers for a change.
Sarge:
And, look at this!
09/ 14/2010
Grif:
September fourteenth, that's a street date.
Sarge:
Now we know precisely, when Reach is coming out.
Grif:
Everybody knows that. Do you understand what the "pre" in preorder means, Sarge?
Simmons:
Uh, Sir? We were already planning to move that day.
Sarge:
Well, plans have changed.
Simmons:
So we're not moving?
Grif:
Wait, we're planning on not doing something? Finally a mission I can get behind.
Sarge:
Oh we're going alright. But we're going early. Armed with all the secret information we've learned from Halo Fest.
Simmons:
You mean the information that anyone can get if they preorder from Gamestop?
Sarge:
Precisely! Noone will ever see us coming!
Grif:
Leaving sooner sounds like more work, not less work. I would like to formally withdraw my support of the plan.
Sarge:
Too late!
Grif:
Dammit.
Back to Caboose and his huge heavy box
Caboose:
Church. Tucker. Andy. I hope there's no stairs where we're going. Gah- my good toe!
 

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