| Fade in to Sarge and Church, ...somewhere |
| Sarge: | Hi I'm Sarge from the popular webseries, Red vs Blue. |
| Church: | And I'm one of the other guys. |
| Sarge: | As futuristic warriors and tech enthusiasts, we're often faced with the challenge of deciding whether to upgrade our gizmos, to the latest versions. |
| Church: | So today we present a rare point/counterpoint version of Red vs Blue. When should you upgrade your hardware? |
| Sgt. Sarge - Counterpoint |
| Sarge: | You'll wanna upgrade as soon as the newest version comes out. Natural Selection tells us that the organism with the best tools, always survives. Take the most dominant predator in history: |
| Church: | Are you talkin' about Tex? |
| Sarge: | I'm talking about velociraptors. Stealthy, cunning- and mean as all get out. For years they dominated the Earth, with their awesome hunting skills. |
| Church: | Frightening. |
| Sarge: | Indeed. Now imagine one of them with the latest smartphones equipped with Bluetooth technology. |
| Church: | Ridiculous. |
| Sarge: | Ridiculous...ly unstoppable. |
| Sarge's Bulleted List - Dominate Raptor Style |
| Sarge: | Upgrading to the latest hardware as soon as possible, gives you the edge you need to track and kill your enemies. |
| Track and Kill w/ ease |
| Sarge: | And turn their precious flesh, into vital nutrients. |
| Pvt. L. L. Church - Counter - Counterpoint |
| Church: | On the other hand, maybe you should consider waiting to upgrade. As you probably know, everyone here in the Halo Universe is about to get a big armor upgrade. |
| Sarge: | Can't wait. |
| Church: | Yeah, me neither. But don't forget- |
| Title Goes Here - Early Adoption Blues |
| Church: | During the Reach beta, Caboose upgraded his armor to the invisibility version, and now that the beta is over, he can't turn it off. |
| Hey check it out, Caboose is right there, but invisible. And sounding like someone killed his cat |
| Caboose: | Hello. Nice to see everyone, I wish everyone could see me. |
| Sarge: | Oh he's invisible! I kept hearing his voice and thought I was just going crazy. |
| Caboose: | Sigh. |
| Church: | Don't worry Caboose, once the game comes out, I'm sure there will be a way to shut it off. |
| Caboose: | Ah, good. I need sleep. |
| Sarge: | Sleep? When that game comes out, I won't sleep for a week! |
| Church: | Yeah, no it's not that it's just that he's having trouble sleeping because he can see through his eyelids now. |
| Sarge: | Oh. ...That's creepy. |
| Church: | I'm positive they'll fix it with a patch though, er- something. Right Caboose? Caboose? Where'd you go? |
| Caboose: | I'm over here. |
| Church: | God dammit, we need to put a bell on you man. |
| Sarge: | A plain ol' bell, no way! Get the latest bell. It has wireless speakers and eighteen different bell tones. Plus every time it rings, an Angel gets an eagle greeter. |
| Church: | No way, I'm not gonna upgrade his bell now. You know there's just gonna be a better version of one next year. |
| Caboose: | Oh, you're not upgrading? |
| Church: | Not me man, no way. |
| Caboose: | Because I was gonna tell you that they make that chat pad for your controller in black now. |
| Church: | Well... I need to have that. |
| Sarge: | Heh- sure you do buddy. |
| Church: | Really, it's a necessity. |
| Sarge: | Hheheheh. If you say so. |