Episode 1: Revenants

Fade in to a TV screen with sports commentary on it
Commentator:
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for! From the far distant system of Sang Helios - I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly - the bad boys of Grifball, team Heretic!
Freelancer Case File 02.417 / Many Years Ago...
Cut to a sleepy guard watching the screen and yawning
Commentator:
And your home planet favourites, Slip-
The screen flashes random images on screen with static, and Delta appears
Delta:
I hate to intrude, but you have not performed any work in the past 13 minutes and 42 seconds. That strikes me as rather inefficient.
Guard:
Oh uh, sorry I was just trying to -uh, yeah how do you- how do you get a new window, you know like the, you know like a new, window- what's the button thing for that now?
Delta:
I believe the keys you are looking for are Alt-Tab.
Guard:
Whoa, yeah, thanks little guy. Wait, who are you? You- you don't look like the normal holo-projection.
Delta:
That is because I am the A.I. designated as Delta, from Project Freelancer.
Guard:
Wait, you have Project Freelancer? I mean are- aren't those, the, bad guys?
Delta:
There is no need for name calling. I submit that Project Freelancer is neither good nor bad, much like your own forces. We are merely two groups dedicated to obtaining different results.
Guard:
Whoah man, that's, that's deep. It's like- it's like there's different Universes, but you know there's-
York sticks him in the back of the neck with something. Oh hey, by the way, York is here
York:
Don't encourage him, he's already long winded as it is.
York smashes the Guard's face on his console, and he falls back unconscious
York:
Thank God. Thought you two would never stop chit-chatting.
Delta:
I'm not sure that that was entirely necessary. He seemed open to the logic I presented him. Perhaps he would have allowed us to carry out our mission.
York:
Sorry I knocked out your new friend. Now you two will never get to have a beer together.
Delta:
I believe that would have been unlikely, regardless.
York hits some buttons on the console, and a holographic lock appears in front of a door
York:
Showtime.
The Director calls in on the intercom
Director:
Come in Agent York; are you in?
York:
Yes Sir. These guys love their holographic locks. I'll let Delta take a peek in their system while I try to disable it manually. You're up D.
Delta:
Curious.
York:
What's curious? That's code for 'bad,' isn't it?
Delta:
I've detected an anomoly inside of the system. Something that is not supposed to be there. Diverting subroutines to investigate.
York:
Don't get too curious in there. I need your attention on this lock.
Delta:
Do not worry Agent York, I have already rectified several instances where you would have tripped the alarm system.
The guard starts to come to
Guard:
Ohh... oh... head. Wh- Wait, wha- why are- wha- give me back my Leprechaun.
York kicks a rolling chair into him, and he promptly falls back over
Director:
What was that, Delta?
York:
Nothing Sir.
Director:
Agent, may I remind you that we are running short on time.
Delta:
Warning: an alarm has been remotely triggered.
York:
What? By who?
Director:
They knew we were coming. Agent York, abort intrusion immediately. We're moving to more direct measures.
York:
Wait, wait wait, I can do this, I can do this, just give me a moment, Sir.
FILSS:
System online, Director. Awaiting your command.
Delta:
I agree with the Director. I have yet to see you successfully open a lock in the field, and this alarm will only hamper your progress.
York:
Okay now don't you start in on me too. You've been talkin' to Wash again, haven't you?
Director:
Agent York, we are out of time. I repeat, abort.
FILSS:
Target locked.
York:
Um, what target is locked? What's the target? Delta, what are they doing?
Delta:
Taking more direct measures.
York:
You knew about this?
Delta:
...Possibly.
York looks to his right and sees the wall becoming red and then orange, as if it's being heated up from the other side by a massively powerful laser or something
York:
Why you green little cockbite.
The wall explodes, opening the cabin to the cold, harsh vacuum of space
York:
Whoa, whoa!
York grabs onto a ledge to avoid being pulled out, but a chair hits him in the face, and then the Guard hits him in the chair, knocking him out
York:
Holy shit!
Red vs. Blue Season 10
Cut to ghostly Church (really Epsilon, but Church for convenience), Sarge and Caboose talking to Carolina in present day
Church:
Agent Carolina!? What are you doing here?
UNSC Archives / Present Day (I could swear I just said that)
Carolina:
I need your help. I'm tracking the Director of Project Freelancer, and you're my best bet for figuring out what hole he's hiding in.
Sarge:
Hole, eh? You know our buddy Donut was always talking about his holes.
Church:
Sarge-
Sarge:
Constantly trying to get people to look at 'em and whatnot.
Church:
Come on Sarge. He's dead now. He was shot. Remember?
Sarge:
Oh. Right. Probably has a few more holes then, huh? Heh heh heh. ...What, too soon?
Church:
What's the appropriate amount of time that can go by for that joke to be okay?
Sarge:
Ah, whatever you big blue baby.
Church:
Shut up Sarge. What are you doing alive Carolina? You're supposed to be dead. This is impossible.
Sarge:
That's a funny thing to say. For a guy who's literally a ghost.
Caboose:
Um, yeah actually he's not a ghost; um he's a computer program. He gets holographically projected out of our armor when he wants to talk to us.
Sarge:
Seismographic computer fograms? Heh heh. Caboose, you say the craziest things sometimes. What an imagination on you.
Caboose:
Yeah I don't know what that first word means but it sounds the same. I will allow it.
A small explosion down a hallway, and Wash in blue armor backs into the room, firing down the hallway
Washington:
Hey, how we doin' in here?
Church:
Wash?
Washington:
You got Epsilon out? Good, we can't hold 'em off much longer. They're not too happy about us breaking in.
Carolina:
Let me see what I can do to help that.
Carolina charges out down the hallway
Washington:
Huh, same old Carolina. I guess coming back from the dead doesn't change anybody.
Church:
Washington, why are you wearing blue armor? Why are you wearing, my armor?
Washington:
Oh, y-um...
Caboose:
Oh, yeah, yeahhh...
Washington:
They sort of used me to... replace you? On Blue Team.
Church:
Replace me?
Caboose:
I wouldn't really use the word 'replace.' But there's no word for 'take over for you and make everything better almost immediately,' so we just say replace.
Church:
When did this happen?
Caboose:
Oh, do you remember when you went into the memory unit? And then everyone was sad?
Church:
Hyeah?
Caboose:
It was right after that.
Church:
Right after I left?
Caboose:
Well, it wasn't right after, you know, but you know it was like, five or, ten seconds.
Church:
You've gotta be kidding me.
Caboose:
Life is short Epsilon. We had to move on.
Church:
I think I just got dumped by Caboose. This is unfucking believable.
Caboose:
Yeah it's, it's not me. It's you.
Washington:
Epsilon, they just needed to even the teams. I-it's really not-
Church:
Hey, would you guys stop calling me Epsilon? I'm Church now.
Caboose:
Oh, uh, we sort of call the new guy Church. You know, sometimes.
Church:
...What?
Washington:
Caboose just finds it easier. The armor color confuses him. As do a lot of things.
Church:
Let me get this straight, Agent Washington. You took my name, too?
Washington:
It's only in certain circumstances.
Caboose:
Like when we talk to him. Or need to fill out paperwork. Or sing happy birthday to him.
Church:
You gotta be fucking kidding me!
Sarge:
Well. This is awkward. You know, I think the quickest solution would be a good old fashioned thinning of the ranks with my trusty shotgun. Any takers?
Washington:
U-we're fine.
Sarge:
Well, it was worth a shot. You win this round, Blue. But I'll be back. Actually, this guy's been kickin' our ass. I'm kinda glad to have ya back. Sure will be nice to have an idiot in charge of Blue Team again.
Church:
Thanks. It's great to be needed.
An explosion comes from the hallway, and Carolina re-emerges
Carolina:
Everyone front and center, now!
 

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