Episode 11: Out of Body

Fade in to the desert
Ancient Alien Temples / Present Day
Tucker:
So, uh, how do you feel?
Church:
I feel like running over each and every one of you.
He's a car now, by the way
Tucker:
So pretty much the same as before.
Church:
Yeah. Pretty much.
Grif:
You know Simmons, I think I'm gonna let you call shotgun on this one.
Simmons:
Fuhuck that.
Church:
Man, this sucks.
Tucker:
What're you complaining about, you finally got your own body.
Church:
My own body- Tucker I'm a fucking Tonka Truck.
Tucker:
Okay yeah, but, you could literally pick up chicks with this thing.
Church:
Oh yeah, because every girl just dreams about settling down with Optimus PrimeHONK. ...Caboose, don't do that.
Caboose:
Sorry.
Sarge:
Alright places people, here they come.
Caboose:
Don't forget to shout surprise.
Tucker:
Caboose shut up.
Carolina:
Tucker, bring Epsilon over here. I've got some questions for him.
Tucker:
God dammit.
Cut to that huge vehicle from Season whenever the hell they were here
Carolina:
Any luck?
Washington:
I think so.
The screen in front of him comes up to show the floating eyeball that Church was in once
Washington:
Alright, datapad accepted. Looks like we're in business.
Tucker:
So, uh, what do you need Church for?
Carolina:
I just, told you.
Tucker:
Oh. Yeah. But, I mean, you could talk to me instead. Sup girl?
Carolina:
Why on Earth, would I ever want to do that?
Tucker:
Well you know, we're a perfect match. We're both super good looking badass rebel loners, and we've got the same colour armor. Greenish blue.
Carolina:
...
Tucker:
Uh, aqua marine. Turquoise? Hey what the fuck colour is this anyway?
Washington:
Listen, it's important that we figure out what's on C.T.'s datapad. It might be our next clue to finding the Director.
Tucker looks at the screen
Tucker:
Hey I know that thing.
Washington:
Wait you recognize this artifact?
Tucker:
Hell yeah, it was the biggest pain in the ass.
Caboose:
Ah it's Church. You know he has lost a lot of weight.
Carolina:
What?
Tucker:
Oh, yeah. Caboose transferred Epsilon from a memory unit into that thing a long time ago.
Carolina:
Where is it now?
Tucker:
I don't know, who cares?
Carolina:
I do.
Tucker:
Oh. Well in that case, uh Caboose tell her where it is.
Caboose:
Right, yes, okay right, yes. I will do that. Yes. Right now.
Grif:
Well Sarge, you've always wanted to watch a Blue die. Looks like you're gonna get your wish after all.
Sarge:
Actually Grif, it's always been my wish to watch you die.
Grif:
Oh right, yeah.
Sarge:
Yep. Every night after you boys would retire to your bunks, I would climb up to the top of the base, and just wait, hoping I would see a shooting star, so that I could wish for your violent, and unbearably painful demise.
Grif:
Okay, you can stop now.
Sarge:
I even had a little jingle to go along with it.
Grif:
Please don't.
To the tune of "When You Wish Upon A Star"
Sarge:
I just wish that Grif was dead.
Grif:
I hate you.
Sarge and
Simmons:
Put a bullet
Simmons:
through his head.
Grif:
What th- Simmons, how do you know that song?
Simmons:
Ugh, it's been in my dreams for years. Now it all makes sense! Oh, thank Gohod.
Grif:
What?
Simmons:
I thought I was crazy when I woke up with that rifle in my hands.
Sarge:
Hheh heh heh. Well, ain't that the power of music.
Grif:
Simmons, why didn't you tell me about this!?
Simmons:
Oh shut up, it wasn't even loaded.
Back to the Blues
Carolina:
How can you just leave, an ancient alien artifact, on the floor of a warehouse?
Caboose:
Okay, ya-hold on, I mean to be fair, you know, we had already broken it.
Data Corrupted / End of file / Error code 32165206.35
Washington:
Uh oh, that's not right.
Carolina:
Ouh, I can't believe we came all this way for nothing.
She heads off
Washington:
You guys are not making my life easy right now.
Tucker:
Do we ever?
Washington:
Good point.
Cut to Washington walking behind Carolina
Washington:
So, what's the plan now?
Carolina:
There's an island nearby that I wanna visit. Shouldn't take more than a day or so.
Washington:
That old fortress? Carolina I'm not sure there's a-
Carolina:
Wash, trust me on this.
Washington:
Right. You should, probably listen to your instincts.
Carolina:
You stay here and keep the sim troopers from causing any trouble. I won't be long.
Washington:
Alright, everyone move into the temple, it'll be getting dark soon.
Tucker:
Hey Wash, where exactly is she going?
Washington:
She lost something. I think she just needs some time to try and find it again.
Cut to Carolina entering a training arena
Freelancer Training Facility / Many Years Ago...
Chairman:
Dear Director, the loss of military equipment is a severe infraction. I should not need to remind you, that all U.N.S.C. property, especially our more experimental technologies, must be kept from the hands of our enemies at all costs. In these trying times, vigilance is paramount.
Carolina is running combat training, while York watches from the observation room out of armor. North approaches, also out of armor
York:
*yawn*
North:
Still training at this hour.
York:
Yeah. She's been like this since we got back from the last mission.
North:
You gotta be kidding me, she's always been like this.
York:
Well, yeah, I mean, she never did know when to stop. But now it's like she doesn't know how to stop. Always training. I guess the leaderboard beckons.
North:
You know, you don't have to watch over her.
York:
Could say the same to you about South.
North:
That's not really an answer.
York:
So what're you doing awake?
North:
Theta, couldn't sleep. And if Theta can't sleep-
York:
Ah, one of the side effects they don't tell you about. Having someone else's voice in your head sure does take some getting used to, doesn't it? Delta's always running these probabilities.
North:
Well that seems annoying.
York:
He says it's fun. You know, did you know that statistically, you are as likely to get hit by lightning, as you are to die in a Pelican crash?
North:
Seems like it would be higher, considering our line of work. Guess I'm due for a few lightning bolts.
They laugh
FILSS:
Round complete. A six point three percent increase in efficiency that round, Agent Carolina.
Carolina:
Run it again FILSS.
FILSS:
Resetting training room floor, for next round.
York:
Is Theta, up late often?
North:
You're wondering if he gets scared a lot.
York:
Yeah, guess I am.
North:
Well, it happens. Mainly at night. He likes when I walk the halls. When we were kids my Dad would have to drive South around in the car to get her to fall asleep. It's kinda the same thing.
York:
I wonder if they're all like this. The A.I.s you know, jittery... nervous- no, not nervous.
North:
Anxious.
York:
Yeah, anxious. It's like Delta thinks something bad is always about to happen. I don't get it. What do they have to worry about?
North:
Pelican crashes, lightning strikes. Hey, maybe they know something we don't.
Carolina's training, North yawns
York:
Why don't you just pull him for a night? Get yourself some sleep.
North:
Pull Theta?
York:
Yeah.
North:
He gets even more scared when I do that. I feel obligated to help.
York:
I see why they picked you.
North:
Yyeah.
York:
Well, he has to face his fear at some point. If they wanna be human that's a good place to start.
North:
What can I tell you, I guess some things are just, harder to face than others.
York:
Yeah. Night North.
North:
Don't stay up too late, you need your rest.
FILSS:
Round complete.
Carolina:
Run it again.
FILSS:
That last round showed a three point six percent increase-
Carolina:
Just run it again.
FILSS:
Resetting training room floor.
Carolina clears the targets
FILSS:
Round complete.
Carolina:
Run it again.
FILSS:
Resetting training room floor, for next round.
York:
I think we all could use some rest.
 

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