Episode 21: True Colors

Fade in to Carolina and Church facing down at least 72 Texes
Freelancer Offsite Storage Facility / Present Day
At least 72 Texes punch their hands and loosen their necks, then one of them speaks in the O'Malley voice from the end of season 5
Tex:
You have no idea what kind of trouble you are in, na ha ha.
Carolina:
Alright; me first.
The Texes run for Carolina, and she mows a bunch down with her plasma pistols
Church:
Watch your left!
She moves out of the way and drops the pistols and switches to a shotgun
Church:
Oh! I think I'm gonna be sick!
More fighting and the shotgun is eventually knocked from her hands, and she throws a Tex into a crate, knocking down a second crate of grenades. She kicks one at a Tex's head and grapples it, swinging it around like a whiplash until it detonates
Church:
Watch out!
Carolina gets knocked down
Carolina:
Could you be a little more specific?
Church:
Yeah uh, sorry Carolina but, seeing this many ex-girlfriends in one room? Kinda has me terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
Carolina:
Well snap out of it, I need you!
She activates her speed unit, and Church tries to keep up as they fight
Church:
Need me for wh--ow!
Carolina:
Church, break right!
Church:
Carolina, I don't think I can do this much longer!
Carolina:
Just hold on.
Church:
Seriously, you need to slow down!
Carolina:
No. I can do this!
Church:
Carolina!
Other disembodied voices start popping in
Washington:
(She really wants to win.)
Carolina:
Ah!
Church:
Carolina, stop!
York:
(-n't know how to-)
Church:
Carolina, calm down!
South:
(Real hero, Carolina.)
Church:
Get a hold of yourself!
North:
(She's always been like this.)
Carolina is knocked back into a crate and falls down
Tex:
(You can't win, Carolina.)
Church:
Come on, get up.
Carolina:
She was right. I can't do this. I can't, beat her. I could never, beat her.
Tex's voice stutters and returns to normal
Tex:
B-b-b-better luck next time, C-ttt-Carolina.
Three plasma grenades stick to the heads of three random Texes
Donut:
Nine points, you dirty whores!
Carolina rolls out of the way before they explode
Carolina:
Huh! Huh.
Washington:
Get up.
Carolina:
What are you doing here?
Washington:
I told you, they're not so bad once you get to know 'em.
Wash helps her up and hands her a pistol
Church:
Ouh. I thought this wasn't your fight?
Sarge:
Come on, overwhelming odds with little to no chance of success? How could we resist?
Tucker:
You got a problem with that, Church?
Church:
Guys? I'm an asshole. I admit it, and I will gladly accept any and all smartass remarks after this is over. But I would like to point out the fact, that we're standing in a room, full of crazy, Freelancer robots, that are ready to completely, and utterly fuck our shit up.
Tucker:
So, cheesey forgiveness speech later?
Sarge:
Yeah, that sounds good.
Carolina:
Lock and load, people.
Everyone draws and/or levels their weapons in a nice dramatic row. Oh, and Caboose is facing the wrong way
Church:
Caboose? I need you to get a little angry, okay buddy?
Caboose:
Okay. Yeah I don't remember how to do that.
Church:
I do.
Church enters Caboose's armor and Caboose charges through the Texes like a blocker in football and starts messing them up
Caboose:
My name is Michael J. Caboose. And I... hate... ...taxes.
Grif:
It's Texas, you idiot.
Caboose:
That too.
Washington:
Come on, everyone, now's our chance.
The charge begins
Sarge:
For our ancestors' ancestors! Attack!
They advance, with Caboose just running down Texes like a linebacker
Sarge:
Donut, look out!
A Tex gets ready to fuck up Donut's shit
Donut:
Oh no! Wuah!
Wash takes that Tex out
Washington:
Okay, we're done here.
Carolina saves Grif's balls from getting punched by three Texes at once, and then he gets punched and kicked in them anyway
Grif:
Owww-how-how... Not again!
Tucker:
Oh come on, you had to see that coming.
Everyone except Caboose forms into a circle, back to back
Simmons:
Not working, there's too many of them!
Washington:
Epsilon, do you remember how the Alpha was able to stop the Meta?
Church:
Yeah but, that was one guy. Not a hundred.
Washington:
There's only one Tex. And Church, nobody knows her like you.
Church:
Alright. Stand back everybody. This is gonna get a little... personal.
Church splits up into many Churches, and enters the minds of all the Texes
Church:
Hey there.
Tex:
Huh? Who the hell're you?
Church:
You don't... you don't know me?
Tex:
Oh, s- uh s- I'm sorry I'm just really tired and- I'm really tired. I'm, I- my name's hhh...
Church:
Your name is, Allison. You're Tex.
Tex:
Right, right um, Tex, that's me. And you're?
Church:
Let's just say we... we used to be close.
Tex:
Oh. Okay.
Church:
I need you to rest now, Tex.
Tex:
Oh, rest yeheah. I'd like that.
Church:
I thought you might. I look I have to go now but, you just rest, okay? Goodbye.
Tex:
Weird. I don't know why but I hate goodbyes.
Church:
I know why. Hhh. Goodbye.
Church fades back to the real world, where all the Texes deactivate and fall over
Grif:
Uh you know you could have done that before I got punched in the nuts by twenty of them at once.
Tucker:
Yeah but where's the fun in that?
Sarge:
Nice goin' there Church. I guess sometimes little fairies really do make wishes come true.
Donut:
I coulda told you that.
Simmons:
So, I guess our work here is done?
Washington:
There's still the Director.
Church:
No. What comes next... Carolina and I need to do alone.
 

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